Our Founding Father

 

L. Stanley Eldridge

 L. Stanley Eldridge – Our Founding Father (1848 – 85)

Livingston Stanley Eldridge was born in 1848 in the small British town of Whimsey-Upon-Tooting, the son of Lord Nodsworth Eldridge the Third, a peer of the realm. Livingston’s birth was a difficult one as he arrived into this world with only one foot. But it was a big foot and with it, Lord Eldridge was able to defend himself from the local toughs and hooligans that gave chase to him nearly every day of his unhappy youth. If cornered, he would lie on his back and thrash out at his attackers with his huge boot, causing them great pain until they gave up. In fact, Lord Eldridge spent a quite a bit of time on his back, sleeping in most days until the early afternoon when he would arise and take breakfast.

He was tutored at home in the evenings by a professor of ancient Greek history by the name of Gregor Metaxas until, at the age of 18, he accompanied his mentor to the Greek islands in the summer of 1866. H e didn’t return to England for several years and when he did eventually, he was a different man. Several different men, actually, as he had developed what today is recognized as multiple-personality disorder. Among the men that he became at various times was a baker named Ron Chaney, a Portuguese sailor named Christo, and several members of a Russian ballet troupe named Alexis.

In the rare times that he was himself, Sir Eldridge expressed a desire to forgo his peerage in order to go to sea and explore. Hie family was only too happy to oblige and, in 1876, he left for the new world with his shipmate, Carl, who was also the estranged wife of Sir Phillip Munchy,  the captain of HMS Bilge-Biscuit, on which they sailed. Their relationship with Munchy quickly proved untenable though and Livingstone and Carl were thrown off the ship in Nova Scotia.  Not wishing to live by the sea, L.  Stanley Eldridge used what remained of his money to buy a parcel of land in the yet-undeveloped area of what is now north-eastern Ontario.

The native population of the area was amazed when he arrived, and somewhat mystified by his appearance, what with his long, golden, powdered wig and huge boot. But they took to him immediately as they thought he was hilarious. L. Stanley Eldridge and his many personalities (soon to include a native shaman by the name of Long Shining Beak) thrived in this situation and as other misfits began to arrive in the area, he organized them, creating a settlement that gave birth to the town we now call Eldridgeville.

Lord Eldridge died in 1885 from complications that arose after he suffered a serious injury which happened when he got caught for eleven days in a leg-hold trap set by local trapper, Peter Tomtom. His big foot became infected and faced with the prospect of having his one notable appendage surgically removed, he chose to die.  He was survived by his friend Carl who became the first mayor of Eldridgeville. Three cheers for our founder, Lord Eldridge!